I’ll share our story from the beginning. I began to feel the calling to adopt in the summer of 2007. I had just given birth to our third child in 4 years. I am not even really sure how it all began. There was one family in our church at the time that had a little girl from China, but that was the only real exposure that I had to adoption. Needless to say, with our already full home, my husband was a little less enthusiastic about the idea of more children.
As time went on, my "vision" became more like a burden. A heart breaking, consuming burden. I pleaded with my husband to consider bringing home a child. His heart had not budged. Meanwhile, several more Chinese children became a part of our church family, two with special needs. My heart literally ached. The fall of last year was the absolute moment for me - we would adopt. I committed to praying and fasting for a changed heart and open doors. It seemed that God was confirming with me that this was, indeed, the road we were suppose to take. However, He didn't seem to be sharing that vision with my husband. The more I prayed, the more my heart became attached. Attached to adoption, yes, but attached to an actual little girl. MY little girl. Even though I didn't know her name, or had seen her face, I knew she was ours. I prayed for her just like I prayed for my other children. I had faith that our little girl would one day come home.
Well, fast forward to this week. My husband and I talked again, and I was hit with the same wall. I literally wept before him and shared how burden my heart was. I told him about how I had gone from the vision of adoption to actually attaching myself to a very real, living little girl. He was very compassionate, but just didn't believe that it was right for our family. He told me that God would have to change his heart if this was really meant to be. The next morning he approached me asking *if* we were to adopt, how in the world would we afford it. I told him that I trusted Jesus to provide. I told him that Jesus had given me the vision, I trusted him to give me the provision. Within a couple of hours after our talk, we talked again. My sweet husband told me that he would commit to bringing our girl home. He needed a little bit of time to get used to the idea, but he was 100% on board!
I have never in my life been so moved by my precious Jesus. I had a huge mountain in the way of my vision (my longing) for years. He moved it. His heart is for the orphan, and he is working on my little girl's behalf. He is giving her hope for a future. There are still so many unknowns on our process - agency? A BIG one - money? Travel? China's wait times? But He holds the future in His hands. I know He is not bound by time, and His time is perfect.
We will be persuing China's waiting child program. Another answered prayer - my husband would have never considered special needs before either. Now we are both open and 100% willing to bring home a child that is not an infant, which may have some special needs.
Thanks for following our journey! YIPPEE JESUS!