Tuesday, June 30, 2009

One Month

We are approaching the one month anniversary to our "Yes Lord" moment. It is weird to think that it has already been a month. I really thought at this point, we would be further in the process in bringing our daughter home. Unfortunately, things have come to a screeching halt for now.

But! I am still thankful. I am still in awe at how Mighty my God is. I am still praising His name for moving mountains (big, hippy, burly mountains! Hehe, I love you Brad!). I am thankful that He is teaching me valuable lessons while I wait. He is teaching me to trust His timing and not my own. He is requiring that I rely on Him only to bring my baby home. So I am thankful. Thankful that I am resting in Him. Thankful that I don't have to worry where the money will come from. Or, how it will all work. He knows and He is working it out.

My new lifesong is "While I'm Waiting". Check out the lyrics:

Lyrics to While I'm Waiting :
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Praise Jesus. It is my absolute honor to wait on Him.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

IT'S NOT OUR TIME

That's what I keep having to tell myself. This week, I saw two (well way more than two) sweet girls on the waiting child list with our agency. One was a *gorgeous* girl that just turned 13. She is available and perfectly healthy. She is only waiting because of her age. Her bio said that her mom had to give her up three years ago, probably because she could't afford to keep her. Her mom knew that she would have food and a warm bed in an institution. That breaks my heart. Their conditions (or whatever) were so bad that she was better off in an orphanage. Oh that hurts my heart. We simply can not wrap our minds around the oppression. It makes me cry thinking about it. Thinking about that sweet girl. She said she understands why her mom gave her up. Oh, if I could bring her home today I would!

There was another sweet girl, that stole my heart too. This baby just turned one. She has a severe cleft palate and cleft lip. She is scheduled for surgery in August. She is lucky though, because she is a part of a foundation that will help her grow and get stronger. This foundation makes it possible for her to receive her desperately needed surgery. The sad thing to me is this baby girl probably has tons of families interested her. The above little girl doesn't have the chance that this baby has. What is even worse, is the girl will "age out" of the system at 14. She will be released to live on the streets. I doubt this is what her mom hoped for her. It literally breaks my heart.

SO many orphans. So few people willing to step up and help. I wish we could bring both of these girls home. It just isn't time for us yet. Even if we wanted too, we don't have the resources right now. Hopefully soon. Hopefully soon, there will one less.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

INTERESTING CONCEPT

And for sure one I am not comfortable with ... knitted tampons. Knitted. Tampons. Here is a picture:


I consider myself an open minded kind of gal. Things usually don't surprise me, and I pretty easily roll with the punches. But, I gotta tell ya, I am not feeling the knitted tampon. I have never even been able use ob tampons because they don't have an applicator (ew that is a gross word). So the idea of this
little gem completely freaks me out. How does it even work? Yarn is so not absorbant.

To each his own, but I will stick with Playtex. Thankyouverymuch.

Friday, June 26, 2009

VALUABLE LESSON

I learned something very valuable today. I am still doing the Beth Moore bible study, Daniel. The first six weeks of the study were about living with integrity. I really enjoyed that part of the study. I would like to believe I learned a great deal about what's really important in life. It taught that we are basically living in a modern day Babylon, especially here in America. The study challenged me to really take a look at what I "value" - is it money? Possessions? Fame? Or is it living a life I can be proud of? Living in a way that would glorify Jesus in all that I do? Things, money, fame are not whats important in this life. What is important is living for the Kingdom. The eternal kingdom with Jesus.

So fast forward to the second half of the study. Almost right off the bat, she lost me. I just can't wrap my mind around prophesy and the end times. It really hurts my head. So I decided to "skim" the days homework, and just participate in the video portion of the study. So today, I go to watch the video and I was just blown away. The things she taught me were priceless. It was all about how God is a god of time. He holds all time in His hands. In the book of Daniel, it talks about "the Anointed One" and His time on earth. The "kingdom calendar" was presented to us, and it blew my mind. The book talks about time and it predicted exactly when Jesus would reign. The thought that God orchestrated all time and told Daniel almost 500 years earlier that an "Anointed One" was coming. Amazing.

I committed right then and there to go back a week in my study and really dig deep. The things that I don't understand, pray over it, research it, until I do. Ask God for supernatural understanding instead of accepting defeat. Well, I did that this afternoon. I sat down in the quiet (a God given gift, in and of itself) of my living room and studied. Want to know something amazing? As I read the very text that I read this past week, that I just didn't get, I had a complete understanding this time. It was amazing. I learned so much about the prophesy in Daniel chapters 8 and 9. He speaks of the Antichrist and his reign. I will share more about what I learned next time, but I am so excited that I didn't give up. I am so excited God gave me fresh insight today.

What an encouraging study. You know what I learned first and foremost? The very God that holds all time in His Hands, the very God that spoke the future to Daniel 500 years earlier than it would actually happen, is the VERY God that holds me. The very God that has my life in His Hands! To God be the GLORY! Thank you, Father!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

OK, SERIOUSLY?

I just received word that our Chinese class is temporarily put on hold. The lady that was doing it for us was offered an opportunity to teach Chinese to soldiers at an area military base. It will last about six months. I completely understand, and it really isn't a big deal. I hope things work favorably for Wu Ming and she is blessed by this opportunity. We will look forward to being able to do it after the first of the year.

Honestly, that is the way things have been going the last couple of weeks. It seems everything is moving forward, but really it is not. Blah. Anyway, so I guess I will have to stick with Kai-Lan teaching me. I guess as long as I can communicate ni hao, Jessica, wo ai ni, that is all that matters! LOL!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

BILLY GRAHAM

Last year, Brad went to the Billy Graham museum with the senior adults in our church. He came home and told me all about it. He really enjoyed himself, and said he would love for us to be able to go back. Well, the senior adults wanted to go back, so they scheduled a trip for yesterday. We decided that our family would go too!

I wasn't sure what to expect. Honestly, I know who Billy Graham is, but I couldn't imagine a whole museum dedicated to him. I remember him from my childhood, because my MaMa loved him. I remember hating when he was on TV preaching because everyone would want to watch the program, except me.

So we get there, and I was blown away. It was a beautiful place. They had his childhood home moved there, it was in great condition and you could go inside. Then, there was this *huge* barn set up behind the house. In the barn was the actual museum. It was done so nicely. Each room was themed and set up like places he had been to. Like a big tent revival in LA, or like a concentration camp in Germany. They had many glass cases with memorabilia from his life - like a handwritten note from George W. Bush, Ruth Bell Graham's baby doll she played with as a child, and tons of other sweet things. I learned all about BG and his life. What a remarkable man - it said that 8 million people have come to know Jesus through his efforts. Amazing. I learned that Ruth Graham grew up in China! I really enjoyed it. They even had a cafe in the barn with fresh sandwiches and salads. It was beautiful. There was even an animotronic cow! For a second I thought I was was Disney World, LOL. Really, it did remind me of a Disney like experience. The way you were transformed and experienced things. It was awesome. In one room, they had this enormous cross and at the top was a real crown of thorns. It moved me to tears, honestly.

So if you are ever in the Charlotte, NC area, I recommend checking this place out. It is a great place to take children too. All three of my kids loved it, and want to go back. And it is completely FREE!

EXCITED

Starting in July, Jackson, Julianna and myself are going to be taking Chinese lessons. This sweet lady that has visited our church a few times is from China, and she has agreed to teach Chinese to all the children from China. And us, of course! She is so sweet. It is a miracle that she has even visited our church because she doesn't even know who Jesus is!

I think that this opportunity is completely orchestrated by Jesus. She is so curious about the bible. I believe surrounding herself with Christians is exactly where she needs to be. I pray she sees the Light in us, and I pray we don't fail her.

Anyway, so we are going to be learning some Chinese. I hope that it will prove helpful with Jessica. Considering the fact that she will be a little older, it is important to me to be able to communicate with her. I think it will make her more comfortable too, if her family knows a little bit of her language. I already know how to tell her I love her, and ask her if she needs to potty. Some might say that is enough, LOL!

Anyway, so I am excited about our opportunities! I am thankful that Jesus placed someone in my life that doesn't know Him, so I have an opportunity to share! If you would like to pray for this sweet lady, her name is WuMing. I can't wait to come back and tell you that she accepted Christ in her heart! I know she will!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

ODE TO BRAD

Well, I was going to write a poem for Brad, in honor of Father's Day, however when I read him what I had, he begged me not to. LOL. It wasn't THAT bad, come on. So I guess I will just have to say what I wanted to say without sweet rhymes. It is a darn shame, I tell ya.

Anyway, I just wanted to share how awesome my husband is. I remember before I met him, I would cry to God asking why He didn't have a Christian man for me. I really felt I would never meet someone like Brad. I had no idea what God had in store for me. Patience has never been my thing, so waiting on God to bring us together was torture!

Brad is such a wonderful husband and father. He takes such good care of us. He spends ALL of his free time with us, at home. He does more around the house than I do. He bathes our children, and tucks them in at night. He gets up with them at the crack of dawn in the morning. I don't mean he sometimes does these things, he ALWAYS does these things.

I can honestly say I love him more today, than I did 10 years ago. I believe that our relationship has grown through Him and that is has made all the difference. Our marriage is centered on Jesus. We are so happy and our lives are so full.

I am so grateful to have a true man of God as my husband and I am so grateful my children have such a wonderful godly father.

Sorry this isn't the awesome poem I had prepared - you guys are truly missing out. Anyway, I just want to say Happy Father's Day to the best father I have ever met. I love you Brad!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

IS IT JUST ME?

Or is there a huge break out of mullets? I swear (except I don't swear) I see them every where I go. Do people not know that the whole world is making fun of them? I literally can not escape them. And they are frightening me.

Recently, at one of Jackson's teeball games, I saw a doosey. I mean a real doosey. I'll just let the picture speak:


I realize that I am just a stay at home mom and I am not hip to all the styles out there. Maybe the mullet has made a comeback and I missed the memo. Whatever the case maybe, there sure are a lot of them out there. Someone is clueless, and honestly, I don't think it is me.

*edited to add: Yes I took a picture of a complete stranger. Yes, I could get sued or something - but honestly, I am not concerned. What's he going to sue me for? My Billy Ray Cyrus cd? Sorry for his luck, but I don't own a Billy Ray Cyrus cd.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

METHUSELAH

We have lived in our house for two years and we have never really talked to our neighbors. We tried last year to "break the ice" but it didn't really help (remember this post, This Little Light of Mine? Ok, rereading that made me cry.). Anyway, so fast forward to the last couple of months. Jackson met the little boy next door, and they really seemed to have clicked. In fact, every SINGLE day they play together. Funny side note - we thought his name was Rhett and have called him that for 2 years. Nope, its Brett. I still can't get used to that. Anyhoo, so with Jackson playing with BRett, Julianna has gotten to know his little sister. Both of my kids have had the BEST time playing. Jackson was dressed and outside before I even got out of bed this morning!

I have a rule that they can only play outside. We weren't doing the whole go into each other's house thing. I didn't mind if they came here, but I for sure didn't want my kids going inside over there. Today, I started thinking about that though - thinking about MY childhood and MY summers with my friends. For a second, I felt like I had been punched in the guy. Was it not just like a few years ago that I was in my childhood? Playing ALL DAY LONG? It seems like it was literally just a few years ago. I did the math, and it was centuries decades ago. And by decadeS, I just mean two, thankyouverymuch. Or maybe three. GROAN. Anyway, it made me feel incredibly old. Then I started thinking about my rule - the no house thing. What if my parents had implemented that rule? I would have missed some of the best times.

So I may change my rule a little - I am not sure I am quite ready for my kids to play at someone elses house, but the kids are welcome to play at ours. They have been playing for a while now, and it is going great! I am so grateful that my kids have friends. What a fun summer we have to look forward to!

A funny story - the boys were drawing comics all morning on the front porch. Jackson mentioned that they were going to "sell" them. I laughed and said great idea. Well, I had NO clue he actually meant it. He came inside with $1.00 in quarters. I asked him where he got it, and he told me from the neighbor across the street! LOL! Crazy kid went across the street (thank God for the cul-de-sac) and sold his drawings! Can you imagine what the lady that bought them thought? hahahahhaha. Cracks me up thinking about it! Maybe he has a little Virgil (father in law) in him after all! I need to put that kid to work raising money to bring Jessica home! LOL!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I ABOUT HAD A HEART ATTACK

My sweet pastor (and friend) gave me their adoption file to look over. He had made copies of everything along the way and put them in this file. I haven't had a chance to really look at everything, but I looked through it. My heart about stopped when I got to his financial statements. I have known from the beginning that China requires $80,000 net worth to even apply to adopt. I always thought we were covered because we own a home, both of our cars, and blah, blah. Well, when I started putting it all down on paper, we came up *VERY* short. Originally, I didn't take into account that only the equity in the house applies. We have only been in our house 2 years, so there is no equity. So, I spent the rest of the evening scrambling to try to "fix" it.

Honestly, I am not worried. I WAS, but I am still trusting Jesus. I still have no idea how it will work, but I am trusting. I really am. We don't have to provide the financial statements until the homestudy, which isn't even scheduled yet. I am not sure when it will be - whenever we get the $2000 for it, I guess. I am thankful for the wait, because it gives me time to find a miracle.

I tell you one thing - when this adoption is complete, we will have one heck of a story to tell. I can't WAIT to give Jesus ALL of the glory. He is the only way this thing is going to work!

All afternoon I kept saying this can't be the end of the road. This can't be my closed door. After all that we have gone through to get here - surely He wouldn't change Brad's heart after two years of prayer only to tell us we don't meet the financial requirements. And I believe that. So stay tuned guys - you are about to witness a modern day miracle. I know it. Funny, people ask why God doesn't perform miracles today - He absolutely does, and we are living proof!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

YAY! MOVING FORWARD!

I am excited this morning! We have raised enough money to move forward with our application. Originally, Brad wanted to wait until we paid off our credit card, then save some money before we moved forward. I completely agreed with that plan, but the more research I did and the more I found out about China's wait times, the more discouraged I became.

Another thing I thought about was faith. Jesus told us to do something (and he told us loud and clear!), but are we doing it? I was beginning to feel we weren't trusting Him. "Yes, Jesus, I will obey you and adopt a child, but you have to wait, ok? Let ME get my finances in order and let ME work out how we can afford this. I am saying yes, but I am not ready to step out of the boat. I'll get back to you Jesus." I really felt that is what we were doing. He provided the money needed to apply - I need to have faith that he will provide the next step, right?

So we are moving forward. I have been in touch with our agency, WACAP, and we are going to apply as soon as I can get the application filled out. It will take a couple of days because I need to do a little more research on the special needs. We have to submit a list of the special needs we would consider.

So! The train is leaving the station! LOL! I am sure we are in for a wild ride!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

ADVOCACY

When I was nursing my toddlers (past the age of one!)I remember searching for advocacy apparel. I got so tired of hearing people comment about the fact that MY babies were too old to nurse. Anyway, I happened upon this website,!cafepress , that had some awesome shirts. My favorite one still is "Jesus was breastfed". LOL! True, he really was! Anyway, I never ended up buying any shirts, and I have always regretted it.

So I got to thinking, I bet cafepress has great advocacy shirts for adoption! I just checked out the site, and I got SO excited. Some of my favorites said:

"Don't tell my parents, but they don't look a thing like me!"

"Yes, ALL of these kids are mine."

"Waiting for her." with a picture of a little Chinese girl on it!

"Sorry Angelina, I'm taken!"

I could go on ALL day! LOL. If I had a ton of money, I would order all of them. I will leave you with my most favorite - "Yes, I am her REAL mother."

Too funny! I will have to get one this time. If I could find one about adoptive breastfeeding, I would be all over it! LOL. Just kidding. Not.

COUPON FRAUD

A friend of mine recently shared with me that she has been feeling really convicted lately about coupon fraud. I had *no* idea what she was talking about. I am fairly new to the whole coupon thing (crap, that reminds me I forgot to get a newspaper today!), so I hadn't really heard the term. She explained to me that sometimes if you have a coupon for say, Cheerios, and you bought Honey Nut Cheerios with that coupon, that would be coupon fraud. I actually laughed at her, and told her that was ridiculous. If the register scans the coupon and accepts it, then it totally counts! She told me that is what she told herself too, but no really, that is fraud. I was floored! Like I said, I am still so new at couponing, I didn't realize that people could get something that wasn't actually on the coupon itself. Apparently though, people have realized there is a way around this and are using coupons for things they shouldn't be.

Here is the article (blog?) Coupon Fraud.

After reading that, I can completely understand why my friend felt convicted. I will make sure from now on I pay more attention to the fine print!

I am curious to hear your thoughts! Would this bother you?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

THANK YOU

I just wanted to thank those of you who sent me words of encouragement. I also want to thank those of you that donated money using the chipin on my side bar. Thank you all so very much. I cried off and on all day yesterday thinking about you guys, and how you so generously gave of your time, money and prayers. I am so humbled by my sweet spirited bloggy friends.

I will not be able to travel this road without you guys. The support means so much to me. I have lifted you all up in prayer many times. I pray that Jesus blesses you, lifts you up, meets your needs. Thank you again guys, seriously. Hopefully one day, I can return the support to each of you.

THE GRANDPARENTS

My kids don't call their grandparents by traditional grandparent-y names. No granny or gramps here - no! We have Gus and GiGi (Brad's parents), Bubba and Papa (my mom and step dad) and PeePaw and MeeMaw (my dad and step mom). Rest assure, each of those names has a story behind it. Maybe I will one day I will bore you share the stories with you.

Anyway, so the kids love when the grandparents visit. Last weekend Gus and GiGi came and this weekend, Bubba and Papa are here. So the kids have had a blast being spoiled loved on by two of the three sets of grandparents.

I love when they visit too because it gives me a chance to be lazy visit also. Tonight, my mom was giving the two little ones a bath and I hear them calling to me. I go in the bathroom and Anna tells me to look at her wedding dress - an entire can of soap foam. An. Entire. Can.


Bubba lets them do things their mommy would never let them do. LOL. They had the best time. Their bath water was literally thick. They had to drain it and get more just to wash.


And for what it's worth - my little boy was loving it just as much as his big sister! Look how cute he is! They all are - and I can hardly stand it!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

REACTIONS

As news traveled around that we are adopting, we have gotten a lot of mixed reactions.

For the most part, people have been very encouraging and very sweet about the decision we have made. To those people, thank you. Thank you for accepting the fact that we don't have all the answers. We have no clue what we are doing, or how it will all work. What we are doing, is obeying the Father. So, thank you to everyone that encouraged us, even if you didn't understand.

We also have gotten quite a few negative reactions. For some reason, they have absolutely caught me off guard. Maybe I am completely self involved and can't see how this could ruffle feathers. Maybe I am so excited to bring our little girl home, that I never thought someone wouldn't be happy for us. Or, more importantly how someone wouldn't be happy for HER.

We have also gotten no response at all. I guess in this case, if they can't say something nice they aren't saying anything at all. In some ways I appreciate that, but honestly, silence speaks a thousand words.

So today has been a little discouraging. Despite that - I am still joyful. I am still in awe. You see, Jesus must think I am a darn good mommy. He has given me not one, not two, not three - but FOUR blessings. I am honored, humbled and very excited that He chose US to be this sweet girl's parents.

So to those people that don't understand, or accept it - it isn't YOUR gift from God to understand or accept. It's ours. She is ours. And I am already thanking my sweet Jesus for her.

BEING FRUGAL

I have been thinking of ways to be more frugal lately. In light of our recent "announcement, I am thinking now is a good time to actually do it. I haven't sat down to really look at things that could be eliminated yet, but I plan too. However, I did start this morning when I was making my grocery list. Before I made my list, I did a quick kitchen inventory. I never do that before I go to the store. I just buy more stuff to shove in the freezer or pantry. I usually spend about $200 every two weeks at the grocery store, and figured it would be that much again. Well, after my inventory, I was shocked at all the stuff we already have. In my freezer alone there is enough food for at least a weeks worth of meals. My pantry has tons of can goods, rice, and pasta too! So I made a list of all the possible meals. I wont have to buy a single thing for dinner at the store. We are completely covered in that area. I still need the basics - milk, bread, cheese, but that wont be close to the $200 I have budgeted! I am so excited. My goal is to take the extra that we have and put it away.

We are really going to crack down around here. I am talking peanut butter sandwiches and beans. LOL! Seriously, my kids favorite meal consist of Ramen noodles and goldfish. I can handle that! I may have to buy stock in vitamins, but heck, it is cheaper right? Just kidding, but fortunately, my family is easy when it comes to eating cheaply. I can't wait to see the savings!

Now I will have to look at how we can cut back in other ways. We don't live extravagantly as it is, so it might be pretty hard. My "splurge" is coffee, but I am totally equipped to make it at home, so that will be ok. I don't get manicures or pedicures. I do all of our hair cutting/coloring, so that already saves money. I am not quite ready to give up my cell phone, but it may come to that too.

If anyone has any great tips, I am open to hearing them! Please share whatever you can!

Monday, June 8, 2009

CUTE LITTLE PICTURE

I found this during some of my recent stalking on the net. I thought it was too cute, and oh so appropriate.

I was telling my friends Haley and Pam today that I feel like an elephant. I am about to be pregnant for 22 months! LOL! I can handle 22 months, lord willing it wont be longer! Wonder if I can do bedrest this time?

THE BEGINNING

I’ll share our story from the beginning. I began to feel the calling to adopt in the summer of 2007. I had just given birth to our third child in 4 years. I am not even really sure how it all began. There was one family in our church at the time that had a little girl from China, but that was the only real exposure that I had to adoption. Needless to say, with our already full home, my husband was a little less enthusiastic about the idea of more children.

As time went on, my "vision" became more like a burden. A heart breaking, consuming burden. I pleaded with my husband to consider bringing home a child. His heart had not budged. Meanwhile, several more Chinese children became a part of our church family, two with special needs. My heart literally ached. The fall of last year was the absolute moment for me - we would adopt. I committed to praying and fasting for a changed heart and open doors. It seemed that God was confirming with me that this was, indeed, the road we were suppose to take. However, He didn't seem to be sharing that vision with my husband. The more I prayed, the more my heart became attached. Attached to adoption, yes, but attached to an actual little girl. MY little girl. Even though I didn't know her name, or had seen her face, I knew she was ours. I prayed for her just like I prayed for my other children. I had faith that our little girl would one day come home.
Well, fast forward to this week. My husband and I talked again, and I was hit with the same wall. I literally wept before him and shared how burden my heart was. I told him about how I had gone from the vision of adoption to actually attaching myself to a very real, living little girl. He was very compassionate, but just didn't believe that it was right for our family. He told me that God would have to change his heart if this was really meant to be. The next morning he approached me asking *if* we were to adopt, how in the world would we afford it. I told him that I trusted Jesus to provide. I told him that Jesus had given me the vision, I trusted him to give me the provision. Within a couple of hours after our talk, we talked again. My sweet husband told me that he would commit to bringing our girl home. He needed a little bit of time to get used to the idea, but he was 100% on board!
I have never in my life been so moved by my precious Jesus. I had a huge mountain in the way of my vision (my longing) for years. He moved it. His heart is for the orphan, and he is working on my little girl's behalf. He is giving her hope for a future. There are still so many unknowns on our process - agency? A BIG one - money? Travel? China's wait times? But He holds the future in His hands. I know He is not bound by time, and His time is perfect.
We will be persuing China's waiting child program. Another answered prayer - my husband would have never considered special needs before either. Now we are both open and 100% willing to bring home a child that is not an infant, which may have some special needs.
Thanks for following our journey! YIPPEE JESUS!

OUR BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

First of all, I am not pregnant, though I might as well be. Gosh, I have butterflies just typing this post up. I am praying as I type this, for Jesus to guide my words and help me share in a way that will open our friends and families hearts.

We have been praying for quite some time now (close to 2 years) about adoption and God's plan for our lives regarding adoption. I have felt the burden for a long time, and just recently, Brad began to feel the burden as well. We both believe that Jesus is leading us to bring a little girl home from China.

So, our family is growing! We have absolutely **NO** idea how we will pull this off. We have no idea where the money is going to come from. We have no idea where to even begin. Honestly though, we believe where Jesus has given us a vision, he will also give us the provision.

I can say with 100% certainty that we have never taken such a huge leap of faith. We understand that we have a house full already. We understand that we do not have $35,000 lying around (actually, we don't even have $10 lying around). We understand that there are a lot of mountains standing in our way. However, there is no denying it is 100% Jesus leading us to bring our little girl home. I believe that when all of it works out, Jesus will receive full Glory. Only He can provide in the ways we need.

We are scared, overwhelmed, and down right crazy for even thinking about this. But, we are trusting Jesus. His heart is for the orphan. We believe by bringing a little girl home, we are honoring Him.

Oh, one more thing - she will have some special needs, and she is likely to be older. We aren't bringing home a perfectly, healthy baby. We are bringing home a little girl that is wondering when her mommy and daddy are coming. A little girl that is longing to be HOME. A little girl that doesn't know what it's like to be tucked in at night, to feel a hug from someone that loves her unconditionally. A little girl that would never have a chance to know Jesus if we didn't bring her home.

How can we say no to Him? We can't.

If you all would like to follow our adoption journey, please feel free! We (and I mean ME) will be keeping a blog, much like this one at Hearts Filled With Hope. We would love for you to join us there. I thought about just combining the two blogs, but I will keep them separate so this one doesn't get bogged down with adoption stuff.

If you feel so inclined to pray for us, we would all appreciate it. We have a lot of things to work out and prepare for. So please, if you get a second, lift our family up in prayer as we embarked on this *long*, crazy, and exciting journey! Thank you!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

**SHUDDER**

I am about to confess something. I have an unnatural fear of FROGS. What I mean to say is I am not just scared of them, I *hate* them. I know hate is a strong word, blah, blah, but seriously though, I hate them. I can't help it. It is a lifelong thing for me. Little ones, big ones, green ones, brown ones, I don't discriminate.

I didn't realize until recently that we are currently in the middle of frog mating season. Oh lord, I literally just shivered. Anyway, frog mating season + large pool = my own personal hell. All night, every night, all I hear are those stinkin frogs calling to each other. Brad gets up in the morning and goes out to work on the pool, and he always comes in telling me stories of frogs caught in the skimmer. Or, frogs mating out there. Is. He. Trying. To. Kill. Me?

Last night, Brad had to go outside to get something out of the car. He opened the front door and said, "Oh hey frog." All nonchalant like. I gasped and went running to the door. What did he mean? Why is he talking to a frog in the front of the house? All these thoughts were running through my head. I get to the door and low and behold - the nastiest, bumpiest, grossest, biggest FROG. On my front porch. Brad just walked by it like that was a completely normal thing to do. Freak. Anyway, I grabbed my camera and decided to try to conquer my fear, and take its picture. So I get down and start snapping pictures of it (him? He looked like a him. If it were a her, I feel terrible for her. So grotesque and bumpy...). Keep in mind that the storm door was between us - protecting me and him. I would have never been that close to a stupid frog without a glass barrier. So here he is, in all of his nastiness:


Just to let you know - I did NOT conquer my fear or cure my hatred. If anything those feeling became more intense. Those bumps! SHUDDER.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

WANT A CHANCE TO WIN?

I recently "met" a new bloggy friend named, Lori. Lori is the mommy to four kids - two older boys, gorgeous little Lucy Joy and beautiful Shu Li waiting in China. Lori's blog inspires me and in the very short time I have "known" her, she has already been so encouraging! I look forward to getting to know her better!

Anyway, she is having an awesome giveaway to help raise funds to bring Shu Li home. She has some beautiful purses/bags and a gorgeous quilt she made herself that she is raffling away! Head over to her blog and check out the treasures (the prizes and the kids!) at JOY Unspeakable.

Monday, June 1, 2009

RANTASTIC

I just have to rant, and with this post, you get two-fer-one. That's right a double feature. Up first - the weather. What is going on with our weather? Maybe Mr. WeatherMan hasn't gotten the memo that it is June 1st. I know it is technically not summer yet. I understand that in a months time, I am going to be posting about how hot and miserable I am. In the meantime though, I am complaining about how not hot it is. The cooler temps paired with an endless amount of rain is starting to make me grumpy. I wish I could have a word with the idiot that dreamed up global warming, because I would give him a piece of my mind. I am going to make up a thing called Global Cooling. It would make more sense where I live. So everyday we get up and check the forecast, hoping, praying for warmer, drier weather. Because sometimes you buy a house for this:


And it just sits in the back yard and taunts us. Day after day.

Rant number two - A little history first. I had a skin cancer removed over a year ago on my back. Fine, or so I thought. It came back. I had it removed again. This time the borders weren't clear, so I went back for a third time. Now I am sporting 18(I originally thought less)stitches. The cut is well over two inches in length. I was going to post a photo, you know as a scare tactic, but it is pretty gross. I guess I will spare you the gory visual image, LOL. So, all of that to say, WEAR SUNSCREEN people. Make sure your children wear sunscreen. It could have been a lot worse for me. Honestly, even though it wasn't as bad as it could have been, it certainly wasn't enjoyable. I never really valued sunscreen. I certainly never wore it. That isn't the case anymore. So please protect yourself.

Ok, rant over. Sometimes you just have to though, ya know?