Sunday, December 28, 2008

Yeah, I've been tagged. Jealous?

So my friend, Janna (, tagged me today. What is tagged, you ask? I have no freakin clue. Apparently, you are tagged and you list 6 random things about yourself, then you tag someone else to do the same. Here are the supposed rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. (Great. I have no idea how to link someone.)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (You're reading them!)
3. Write six random things about yourself. (Look below)
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (I don't even know six bloggers. I cyber stalk a lot of people. None of them know I exist. So I can't very well tag them now can I? The few people I would tag, my friend that tagged me, already tagged. So there you have it...).
5. Let each person (or just the one person. You know, whatever.) know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So here are my random facts:

1. My heart aches for a little girl from China. Brad says no. He thinks I only want to do adopt because some of my friends have adopted. That isn't so. I want to adopt because I want to give a little girl a chance that otherwise wouldn't have one. I want to adopt because my Jesus adopted me, and I feel I should "pay it forward". I don't want a perfect baby girl. I want a little girl that is over looked. One that isn't perfect (in other people's eyes, not mine.) I want a little girl that sits in the orphanage day after day and wonders when it will be her turn as all the babies leave. I want a little girl that longs for a mommy and a daddy and brothers and sisters.

2. One of my favorite smells is the swamp. Charleston has this distinctive smell when you go near the rivers and swamp that I love. It smells like home and I miss it. I wish Yankee Candle made a candle called "Charleston Swamp". I would buy it.

3. If it weren't for family, I would want to move to California. It is my all time favorite place to be. I love it there. Brad says I just love Beverly Hills. While I do love 90210 (the real zip code), I love the whole state too. From the top to the bottom. Brad loves it too. The only reason we haven't moved there is because of our parents. It would devastate them.

4. I love to eat raw potatoes, peeled with vinegar and salt on them. I also like salt on my oranges.

5. I wish I was cooler.

6. I wish I had of finished nursing school. I just feel like a failure because I didn't. I feel bad that I let my parents down. I know it wouldn't really make a difference to my life now, but I would like knowing it was something I accomplished.

OK, I am done. And I will tag....
1. Karen (

That was harder than I thought. There aren't many "random" facts about me. Turns out, I am an open book that can't keep my mouth shut. So some of my facts aren't random at all. But whatever.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

What a Craptacular Week.

Sigh. What a crappy, crappy week. Probably the worst of my life, honestly. The only other time that compares, is the week that Jamey was in NICU - and even then, my heart was broken, but I knew everything was ok. Now I am just not sure. There are moments when I feel such peace, but there is this constant little black cloud hanging over me all the time. I know I will be ok. I know that Jesus will take care of me, but it is just so scary.

More than fear though, I feel grateful. I am so very grateful that it has all panned out the way it has. Grateful for the headaches (which are totally gone by the way), grateful for my friend that said I should go to the doctor, grateful for the doctor who insisted on the MRI. At least now we can treat it and move on.

I am actually grateful for something else - I am grateful for the malformation. Because of it, I have fallen on my knees - I was long overdue. Because of it, I have had the opportunity to share my absolute faith in Jesus with people than may not believe. I have been allowed to experience such a pure, sweet peace that can only come from one Place. I only hope to glorify Jesus through my experience. I hope that I can be a witness to others who are going through tough times. What I keep reminding myself is the God that calmed the sea the night Jesus walked on water, is the very same God that calms the storm that is raging inside of my heart (and head!). So I draw my strength from Him. I hope that if you are reading this and you are going through dark times, you look to the Light. Draw your strength from Him too. Look to Him for peace, it truly is a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Ok, I Talked Myself Off the Ledge

Ok, so last night I was having a minor (major) freak out moment. I feel better tonight though. I took Anna to the doctor, and her "foot cancer" is indeed a plantars wart. Whew. I literally felt like I was going to puke last night, haha. I was worried to DEATH about a wart. A wart. hahahahhahahaha. I also talked to my doctor's office (aka my mom) today about the treatment plan for the kidney stones. The doctor isn't worried. He left the treatment up to me. He said that it most likely would just sit there for a longggg time. If I wanted to, he could do a procedure to break it up or I could just wait it out. He sent me a prescription for some major pain meds, just in case. So I will just hang out for a while. I have passed a few big ones before, I will survive again.

I am still worried about the MRI tomorrow, but I am confident that my Jesus will take care of me. He is the Great Physician, and I am in His hands. I will rest in that.

Thank you to my peeps that emailed or commented to me - you guys rock! Love you!