There are some other things on my heart that I would like to share. I am hopeful that it can be encouraging as well.
A year ago, when we began this journey, we were so excited! We were excited to be adding to our family, excited to be on God's path, excited to see what He would do to bring Willa home. When we told everyone, we fully expected everyone to be excited for us. That was not the case. In fact, we couldn't have been more wrong.
As months progressed, we began to see, hear and feel just how wrong we were. It has been, in a sense, devastating. It has hurt more than our words could ever express. Some of our relationships have changed over this. Some relationships will never recover. It literally breaks my heart thinking about it.
I never expected everyone to understand. I never expected everyone to "get it". I knew that people in our lives would have questions and doubts. I am sure it seems crazy to a lot of people. I mean, gosh, we have three kids already! However, instead of coming to me or Brad and expressing their concerns or questions, they just chose to brush it under the rug or talk about us behind our backs. If we had been given a chance, we would have gladly explained our hearts.
I guess I thought, or hoped, that as time went by, they would come around. Their hearts would warm up to the idea. At the very least when they saw Willa's face, they would see that she is real child with a real need. They would come to understand the bottom line - that no matter how they felt about adoption, international adoption, large families, etc...they would see this precious child that needs a mommy and daddy. They would also see without adoption, this child may very well never know that Jesus saved her. Saved her not only from an orphanage, but saved her very soul. By her being adopted, she gets a chance to hear His word and make a choice to live for Him. In China, she may never have gotten that chance. So, I hoped when they saw that real little girl, desperately needing to be saved, they would change their minds and hearts.
However, once again, I am wrong. It hasn't made a difference. Our "loved" ones literally can't look past their own disapproval to see the big picture. It is heartbreaking. And honestly, I have no idea what this means now that Willa is about to be home. What do I do? Knowing they way they feel about her, what do I do? I would never want to put her in a position that would be hurtful to her. Gosh, even writing that makes me want to burst into tears. Regardless how she joined our family, how could anyone disapprove of her? She is a child. One of His.
On the other hand, there have been many loved ones that have supported us from day one. Many people that love us, and Willa, for the children of God we are. To all of those people - thank you. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you. Your kind words, hugs, support, excitement - it has touched us so deeply. We can't wait to share Willa with you. She will be a joy in all of our lives. Thank you for wanting to be a part of something bigger than us.
I wanted to share all of this because I want people to know that on the adoption road, you will face opposition. You will face prejudice. You will be ridiculed and mocked. You will be treated with hate. Does that sound familiar? Remind you of anyone else?
Yeah, it's worth it.