I would love thoughts/personal experiences from everyone. For the last couple of days we have talked about who will be traveling to China to get sweet Jessica. Obviously, I am going (like I would let Brad go while I stayed behind with the kids. That makes me laugh thinking about the ridiculousness of that thought). For as long as I can remember since feeling the adoption call, I have prayed God would provide a way for all of us to go. When I told Brad that, he wasn't on board. He thought it would be crazy to take our three children half way around the world. I do understand his thoughts and fears - the money, the chaos, etc... But how could I leave my babies behind? What if they needed me? A little side story for you (to back up my idea that they should come along) - last night I was running to Walmart when my cell phone rang. It was Brad. He had just gotten Jamey out of the bath and he noticed a weird thing on his leg. He called me to ask if I had seen it - I had not. We went down the list of possible scenarios. A mosquito bite (he reacts badly to those), a burn (I would have known if my baby burnt his leg), finally he said, "Michele, you need to come home." Done. I pulled a u turn in the middle of the road and was home in 3 minutes. Sure enough, I had to take him to the ER. They said it was one of three things - a brown recluse bite (GASP), cellulitis (a skin infection) or MRSA (UGH). It was red and blistery, and oozing clear liquid. The oozing was out of control and actually running down his leg. He is ok, but it scared the fire out of me. Still does, actually. So what would have happened if I had been in China? Sure someone else could have taken care of him, but what if they didn't think to take him to the ER? His leg could have rot off by morning. Not to mention, my baby wanted his mommy. 'Nough said. He's going to China. They all are. Endofdiscussion.
There are more reasons I want them there. I want them to experience the culture. I want them to taste the food and smell the smells. I want them to see the Great Wall and know what a extraordinary thing it is. I want them to get to go on an airplane. I want them to meet their sister and bond with her. They have all been there for the birth of their siblings, this time should be no different. Will it be hard? Sure. Will they drive me crazy? Absolutely. But I simply can NOT leave them for two weeks. They have never even had a baby sitter. I don't want to eat dinner alone, much less be away for so long. Plus, what other school do you know that takes kids to China on field trips? LOL! Ours does! It's a once in a life time opportunity
until we go back to get another child. Plus they love soy sauce. LOL!
Even though I have my mind made up, I would love to hear thoughts from others...
4 comments:
I think it's great that you want to take them all! I am LOL at the soy sauce comment!
I don't know what I would do. I'd want to take them all for the very same reasons, but it would be really stressful to navigate a foreign country with all the kids in tow. And since we don't vaccinate and I don't plan to have them vax'd until they make that choice themselves, it would be an option for us.
Does your agency require that you travel to China to get her? Some agencies will meet you somewhere in the US-they have an escort bring the child to US soil. If we ever do adopt, I think that will be the option for us.
Michele,
I am a friend of Lora's and I have had 2 failed international adoptions. One the country shut down when we were getting ready to travel the other another family got her. So even though I have not adopted I certainly have gone through the entire procedure. Well, except for actually completing it.
Belarus was where we first were going to adopt from and make no mistake it was a communist country not pleasant for Americans. I would not have taken my children there for that reason. The laws are not the same when we travel internationally, we are so use to America it is hard to think outside the box. You have to consider health risks as well...everyones diet will change...what will you do if all of your kids get sick with a diarrhea that is completely deepleting their systems. Will you be comfortable enough with your agencies ability to get them adequate medical help, that is a very real scenario...All the vaccinations are very real too. The swine flu is prevalent in China now...when they had SARS there I certainly would never had planned on taking my kids.
AWAA is a fabulous company in business for quite a long time and China is their star country...talk to them and listen hard to their advice...they are long in wisdom when it comes to things like this...Adoption is more emotional than we give it credit for...I would certainly take the kids all back as they age for a family vacation minus the adoption. I just think that we each get a few moments alone with our children. Since your adopting it might be nice to just focus on Jessica searing that bond to her before you assist everyone else in that process...
The other thing is we are not to be lead by a spirit of fear but of a sound mind. Make a very educated decison here including your agencies input as well as talking to others who have or have not taken their kids to China. No one can make the decisions that are right for your family but you and your husband. Be Spirit lead and wise, don't make decisions out of raw emotion or fear...I hope that helps...
I would not travel with your kids. Adoption is VERY stressful and you will need all of your energy and focus to be on the new member. It wil not be beautiful and wonderful (beautiful and wonderful comes later). It will be raw and painful and all consuming and stressful as your new addition mourns the loss of everything familiar and tries to learn to trust you and love you. It will be stressful and traumatic for your children and face the reality of a new sibling in a foreign country. Take lots of pictures and plan to return with your entire family when everyone is a little older. It will be hard to leave your kids but you will be glad that you did when you experience the raw emotions of those first days.
Hi Michele,
You posted on my blog about my announcement for Ruby. I had it done by Ella Bella Designs through the web-site etsy. Email me if you have trouble finding it!
I just read your post about taking your children to China or not. I could not (respectfully) disagree more with the anonymous poster who advised *no way*. Check out my blog during the travel this past July. We took our three kids, 12, 9 and our youngest turned 6 in China! It was the best decision we EVER made and we feel has contributed hugely to the successful assimilation of our daughter in to our family and our other children's immense love for her. Was it stressful sometimes? Yes, in that living in a hotel room for 17 days takes its toll but, our kids went with the flow, realised what the trip was about--becoming a family of 6, not a Disney trip- and we will be forever thankful that we decided to bring them, despite everyone around us telling us we were crazy! Like you, I could not fathom leaving them for so long and them missing out on such a huge step in our family. Email me privately if you want more details. Good luck!
Post a Comment