I have been thinking about divorce lately, and just how destructive it is. I have a friend (and I use that term very loosely) that is divorced. She has two small children, about Jackson and Julianna's age, that she and her ex husband share custody of. She is living the way probably half of America is living.
I just can't wrap my mind around this way of life. My "friend", Sara*, seems completely ok with not having her kids half the time. In fact, she seems to use her time away from them to "live it up". I have to be honest here, if I had to send my kids off for a weekend, or a week, or lord help me, a holiday? I would DIE. It isn't that I wouldn't trust them with Brad, I absolutely would. I would just miss so much. I would feel so empty. Then, eventually, Brad would meet someone new. That someone new would be around my kids all the time, stepping in as their mommy. Oh lord, it makes me cringe to even go there.
I understand that people get divorced all the time. I also understand that this kind of thing has been happening for a very long time. I, myself, am from a broken family. However, just because this seems to be America's norm, it doesn't make it right. We are so selfish and self-involved, that when we become unhappy with our spouses, it doesn't matter who we hurt when we leave them. As long as we are happy in the end, right?
Fortunately, I have an awesome marriage and an awesome husband. However, it did not start out that way. The first couple of years were torture. We were both miserable. But, we made a commitment to each other and to God Himself. For better or worse, and there was a lot of "worse" in the beginning. But now, it is all "better" and I am so glad we stuck it out.
If things were to turn ugly, I can tell you what I wouldn't do - I wouldn't leave my family. I have three little ones counting on me. Counting on me to be an example. Counting on me to teach them what is right. Counting on me to show them that when things don't go our way, we don't run. We stick it out, we honor our commitments. We fight for what we believe in. We rely on Jesus to help us through the hard times.
Remember the post on the Fruits of the spirit? I believe that with patience and love (and a lot of forgiveness), you can make a marriage work, no matter what.