Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My Mom and Me.

This isn't a trip report, just some thoughts I am having. My mom and I are very close. We always have been. We Brad and I moved to Texas, I thought she was going to die. Physically die. I am not kidding. I, on the other hand, was too blind with love to be sad about moving half way across the USA. So we moved and I was thrilled. We lived in TX for about three weeks when my mom and step dad came out to visit. They had a wedding to go to in another town, so they flew to my town and we went together. They stayed about a week and we had a great time. Then they left. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. It was consuming. All I could think about was moving home. It literally changed who I was. I was a mess.

So fast forward almost 10 years, and I still have that feeling in the pit of stomach when they leave after a visit. It is horrible. It is almost like I grieve a loss for a day or so, then I am ok again. I know I will see them again soon (usually only a few weeks go between visits), but it is still so heartbreaking.

There is another side of things however. It seems that my mom and I can't get along for more than a day. Every single visit ends up with us fighting. For a while, I didn't understand why it happened, but it did with no exceptions. I guess the following will be a trip report - haha, since it happened on the trip, but not the kind you are expecting. So my parents came down to spend 5 nights with us here in Orlando. It took us 24 hours together before the fight began. On my birthday nonetheless. So we fought and moved on. The next day was great, we had a great time. Then Monday came. Oh Monday, how you sucked.

Anyway, we had a huge fight on Monday. It started when I left her with two of my little ones to go get the car so no one had to walk in the rain. My baby decided he didn't like to be left, so he laid on the floor of the mall and pitched the mother of all fits. So my mom had Sir Screams A lot, Julianna, a bag and two hot coffees. I guess she felt overwhelmed. When I got to the door to get them, she was not a happy camper.

I wont bore you with all the details, but lets just say, it was not a simple disagreement. After all was said and done, we had a very enlightening talk. It appears that my mom can't handle my personality. Just in case you don't know me, I can be a little, umm.... abrupt. Harsh. Sarcastic. I say what is on mind. I am aggressive, I get things done. My mom is very defensive, easily offended, kind. So it is no mystery that we don't get a long sometimes. I told her that honestly, I am sure that if I were not her daughter, we would never hang out. We aren't people that would naturally hang out together. In fact, we would probably avoid each other like the plaque. Really though, aren't most families like that?

Well, long story short (I realize this is not short, SORRY!), we decided that we were going to be better. I told her that my personality is not directed at her. Really, it has nothing to do with her. It is just how I am. So she is going to try to not be so sensitive and I am going to try to not be so - well, me.

Our last day together was great. We didn't fight once. I did tell her my thoughts though - she is getting older and more and more like my grandmother everyday. Then we fought again.


Haley said...

I am glad that the two of you were able to talk things out. Enjoy the rest of your trip.
On a side note...You are an acquired taste. Ha Ha but I still love ya!!

Hi, I'm Jessica! said...

dude... i'm like that w/ my mom too. I never could put it into words but you just did! thanks!

Anonymous said...

At least you guys can fight..and then make up. No biggie. You guys will be fine. ::)

At least ya'll talked and got it out in the open.

Hurry up and get back! I miss ya!


Blondie said...

Too funny...are you sure we weren't separated at birth?

My mom is like yours while I am sort of like you (there's no one quite like you, Michele!). I am proactive while she is reactive. She is sensitive about everything while I am pretty much, well, not. She and my dad have been going through some crap at their church. Based on my past experience (yours, too), I could have had a lot to say, but she would not have been receptive to any of it. Somehow, I have managed to keep my trap shut. Somehow!

Andrea and I have decided that 72 hours is our max with any family members. Once we are past that point, it really is time for us to move one - before anyone gets hurt, emotionally or physically. In fact, one of us usually ends up calling the other for a sanity check when we visit family. It helps!

Hey, I commend you for making it five whole days!