Saturday, March 5, 2011

HEART ATTACK

Today around 2:30 or so, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was a VA number. I immediately knew it was my agency. So I answered it, my heart began to race! It was my family coordinator. She politely said hello, and asked if it was a good time to talk. HELLO? YES! My heart rate was climbing. Well, she was calling to talk to me about a mission opportunity. SIGH. I think there should be a rule that if you are waiting for a referral, your agency should not be allowed to call your house.

AWAA is getting a group of people together to go to Guizhou, China in July. It is a missions trip, and the people going will be doing some work and loving on the kids there. I sent an email earlier this week requesting information.  It is definitely something I would love to participate in, but this year probably wouldn't work. I was just curious about the details/cost more than anything. 

I am trying not to read between the lines here, but I can't help but find hope in her call. She was calling to tell me I am welcome to participate, but she recommends waiting. She said if we received a referral, traveling to China for a mission trip in the summer would be too close to traveling to pick up Willa. I completely agree, and like I said, I was mostly just curious. The "thing" that got me though was she has always been very conservative when I have asked her about when we could get a referral. She has always made me feel like it could be a long time. In fact, she made my social worker have a chat with us about the "potentially long wait". So the fact that she discouraged me from signing up for a mission trip traveling in July just made me think maybe, just maybe, she feels like it would conflict with our adoption travel.

Now like I said, I could totally be over thinking this... but! That was the whole purpose for her call. So maybe it wont be long! I have to find hope where I can get it! LOL!

I have to be honest - I live a pretty boring life. When the call came today, I could literally feel a surge of adrenalin. After I hung up the phone, I felt like I had just stepped off of Space Mountain. Shaky, heart racing, a little nauseous. HAHA! It took quite a while for me to relax after that. It is insane what one phone call can do, especially when it wasn't the phone call you hoped it would be. If I felt like that after hanging up today, how am I going to feel when the real call comes? 

4 comments:

The Raudenbush Family said...

I totally get it. I actually took a picture of the phone and the caller ID on it when we got our call for Lyds. My adrenaline pumped like crazy everytime I saw my social worker's home number or agency's number on that caller ID. Wonder what it was like before caller ID....maybe I would have been like that for every single phone call. Who needs coffee if you react like that, huh?

CFox said...

Hello, I have been following your story for close to a year now but this is the first time I have left a comment. I was wondering if this mission trip you mentioned is one that is open to anyone who would like to go and help? If it is I would very much like to get more details on it. I too hope to adopt someday but right now we are not eligiable (too young, have 2 more years) and I also have a husband who says no. Thanks for sharing you story and I will be praying you get your referal soon!

Carrie

Carrie said...

So I just finished replying to your email and got up to turn the tv on to watch Glee. The last channel we had on this morning was our PBS station (cartoons for the kids). Well when I turned on the tv there was a special on about the life/rituals/customes of an ethnic group in.....wait for it....CHINA! Glee can wait until tomorrow! ;)

TanyaLea said...

I agree... there SHOULD be a LAW against it, not just a rule! ;) It's like a bad tease. But it sounds like there was a 'glimmer' of hope from what your case worker said about the possible conflict of travel. PRAYING! Hopefully next time you see that number on your CID, it's for REAL!!!

Hugs,
Tanya