HUNGRY

I recently started a new Beth Moore bible study. It's called "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things". I will be honest, when I first began, I felt a little "above" (for lack of a better word) the things Beth was discussing in the study. The first week talks about being seduced by Satan and the world. While I am not perfect, by any means, I just didn't feel like I struggled with a lot of the issues she addressed. I promise I don't mean that I am unteachable - quite the opposite. It's just I didn't feel like I was being "seduced". To me, that word mostly means sexual things. I can say with 100% certainty, I do not struggle with any type of sexual sin or temptation. So how could this study apply to me?

Boy was I wrong! I am so glad when I am wrong about stuff like this! I am so glad I didn't quit. I am learning the word "seduction" doesn't just apply to things sexual in nature. I am learning that you can be seduced by Satan in many areas. Areas that include anything you allow to tempt you - food, gossip, anything really.

The study goes on to talk about Peter. How God allowed Satan to "sift" Peter like wheat. It really made me think - sifting like wheat. Refining. Could it be that God has been sifting me? I think so. I think He is still sifting me. I think I am learning that I can not rely on my own strength. I can not rely of anything of this world. I can only rely on Him. Everything is completely out of my hands and out of my power.

This bible study has created a hunger in me. I want to know more. I want to be able to see when the enemy is trying to seduce me. I want to be strong in my faith and in my relationship with Jesus, to stand against the enemy's schemes. I don't want to put this study down. It has planted little seeds that I want to explore. For instance, I want to know more about fasting. I get the basic thought behind it, but I really want to understand it. Another thing I discovered is that I want to learn to read Greek or Hebrew. There have been a few verses that I looked up, and if I had of been able to read those verses in Greek, I would have gotten so much more out of it. The verses do not change in any way, but reading them in Greek brings a deeper meaning. I am intrigued!

I really feel like Jesus has something to tell me. I feel He is drawing me close for a specific reason. I am not going to stop until I hear Him loud and clear.

While I am posting, can I ask a prayer request (the bible study also points out the importance of intercessory prayer. It said that if you don't have a group of people praying for you, find some!)? I have a few, if you would please pray for our family, I would really appreciate it! I would be honored to do the same for you, please leave a comment with any request you may have! Anyway, here are my requests:

*The new waiting child list comes out soon (maybe the 21st). Please pray that, God willing, Willa is on it!

*I am starting to get more and more nervous about reviewing a file. What if it isn't accurate again? Please pray that her file will be complete and an accurate representation of Willa's medical needs. No surprises.

*Finances - we are still about $6,000 short (actually that alone is a miracle. 6 months ago I never would have dreamed being matched again was even possible financially.)

*Timing. While I deeply want God's timing, I know His timing is perfect, I desperately want my baby girl. There is this sense of urgency in my spirit. It is heart wrenching.

That is all, for now. Thank you so much. I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day!!