ANXIOUS

I can't believe I am even having to write this, but we STILL don't know when we are traveling. Our agency requested an appointment for us with the America Consulate, and they denied it. So, we had to resubmit another request for two weeks later. We haven't heard back yet.

I am officially having a break down. The excruciating wait for TA is finally over, but now I am waiting on my own government (and agency) to actually get us scheduled. I don't understand why it is taking so long. I am hoping for an answer tomorrow.

Will you please, oh gosh, please pray that they can get us in the week of August 3rd? If they can't get us in then, I have NO idea when we will travel.

Please pray guys. This is killing me!

I AM A SLACKER

You would think with travel literally just days away, I would be more productive. Yeah, I have made the lists, but that is where my productivity has ended. LOL. I seriously have been a bum. I blame my bestie - she came for a visit and I was the worst hostess ever. We seriously did nothing but sit around and watch the game show network all day, everyday. Now, I can't seem to break out of that lazy streak. It's all her fault (lol!). That's my story and I am sticking to it.

It still seems so unreal. In my mind, this trip has always been "planned" but it's hard to believe it's just around the corner. I also think I am trying not to get my hopes up about traveling on the 8th. I have tried to explain to Julianna that we will be leaving soon, and bless her little heart, she just doesn't get it. I guess she is like me, we have talked about this for so long, the thought of it being so close is hard to comprehend. Once I know our travel dates for sure, I will make her a paper chain. I think she will like that, and it will help her wrap her mind around our departure.

Jackson is upset because he doesn't want us to leave on his "half birthday". LOL! I tried to explain to him that his "half birthday" is not really a special day. He is too funny. Of course, now he is trying to rip my heart out because he keeps saying he really wants to go also. I wish with all of my heart that he could.

Jameson seems indifferent. Obviously, he doesn't understand, but he did tell me when I go to China he will cry. He wont. I will. I will be a basket case. I have never, ever, left them for an overnight. Much less 16 over nights. I am trying to prepare myself now, but I cry when I leave Brad to go to South Carolina for the weekend.  Leaving Brad, Jackson and Jameson? Oh lord.

Well, I will update when we hear back from my agency! Hopefully Monday! Keep praying! Please!

WOOOOO HOOOOO!

We got THE call! YES! Our agency is going to try to get us in the July 8th group after all. Please, please pray with us for an open consulate date on July 20th or 21st!

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!

Thanks for the comments guys! It is nice to know someone is reading! LOL! I appreciate all the encouragement! You guys rock, seriously!

I have created our photo site for our travel photos. Obviously, there aren't many photos yet, but hopefully SOON. To access the site, just click Willa's photo to the right. It will take you directly there. Now hopefully by the time I get to China, shutterfly wont be blocked! LOL. If it is, we will try something else.

We still have not received travel approval. I am not exactly sure what is going on with it, but it isn't just ours. There are a ton of us that are still waiting. Some agencies are saying tomorrow or Monday. Our agency is not saying anything. They did tell us that we needed to receive our TA by today in order to be included in the July 8th group. So that is out, we are moving on to hoping for July 22nd. That is only 4 weeks from now. I can totally handle that! At this point, I just want to know the dates, and I'm less concerned about what the date may be.

Thanks again for the sweet comments! It really makes me feel better!

A TINY LITTLE UPDATE

I got an email from my agency yesterday afternoon that said *if* we don't make the July 8th travel group (and she appeared to still think this was possible), the next group will most likely be July 22nd! July 22nd may not seem like a big deal to most, but that is a whole week sooner than I thought! So worst case scenario at this point is travel in less than five weeks! That makes me feel tons better!

So in preparation of my upcoming travel, I have officially started the lists. I gotta tell you - these are the mother of all lists. I have a list to keep up with my lists. Seriously. I have packing lists, gifts for family lists, treasures for Willa from her homeland lists, shopping lists, food lists for the boys... it goes on and on. It's just so overwhelming to think of all that needs to be done.

I was thinking about this blog and how to best update while I am gone... I am not sure what the best thing is. Blogger is blocked in China - so it isn't as easy as just blogging. I can email the posts in, but that would be hard if I want to share a lot of photos. I may set up a separate shutterfly site for photos. I am not sure.

Then I think hm... how many people actually even read this blog? Is it worth my time trying to figure it out? I will think about it some more.

I can't believe I am 5 weeks (maybe only 3) away from seeing, hugging and loving on my Willa! Whew this has been one doozy of a year!

EVER FEEL LIKE A LUNATIC?

Yeah, this is how I am feeling:



Seriously. So in an effort to entertain myself during this excruciating wait, I found a few funny signs to share. Now, I am in no way making fun of other languages or other people. However, I AM making fun of translation errors. I just can't help it. It's funny stuff. Here are a few:

Oh so entertaining. Ok, that distracted me for like 15 minutes. Woo hoo!

I MAY BE LOSING IT

Of course, some would argue, that I have already lost it. But that is neither here nor there. Anyway, this wait for travel approval may drive me to drink. I was fine waiting my "2-6 weeks", however, a few people on the RQ message board with dates later than mine, received theirs on Friday. So now I am a nervous wreck. Seriously. I feel like at any point in time, I may vomit. I keep taking deep breaths, but they aren't helping.

Maybe I wouldn't be so crazy if the time line was different (I said MAYBE). If we get TA this week, we are much more likely to travel with the July 8th group. If we don't, it will most likely be late July before we can leave. LATE JULY. Late, I am seriously going to puke, July.

Will you please take just a moment to lift up a prayer for us? I know that Jesus has perfect timing. I trust His timing. But I also knows he gives us the desires of heart. Please just pray for us, would you?

SLIGHTLY FLIPPIN OUT

I remember when I was pregnant with Jackson, I would worry so much about labor and delivery. I was *not* happy with my options to actually get the baby out of me. I felt surely there was a 3rd option. Surely there was a better way to have a baby than the traditional way or by c-section. I was seriously fretting. Well, fast forward 7 and a half years, and I am fretting again.

As long as I can remember, I have wanted to go to China. It is all I have thought about for the last two years. Now that travel is imminent, I am starting to shake in my boots. I do not want to get on a plane. I do not want to leave my husband or my children. I do not want to leave my house. I am seriously getting worried. Surely there is another way to get my girl home?

I really think I would feel better about this whole thing if my husband could travel with me. He makes everything ok. He makes me feel safe. The thought of traveling to the other side of the world without him literally makes me want to cry. It'll be ok...

Think good thoughts. Think good thoughts.

CLOSER THAN WE THINK

I saw this picture on the internet today and it literally hit me upside the head.



Lord, please let my Hope be closer than she appears. Right now, she seems worlds away. Honestly, she may as well be. I did talk to my agency today and she said that as long as my travel approval comes by June 21st (totally a possibility) we could probably leave with the July 8th group. If it does not come by the 21st, there is another group leaving around July 29th. So at least there is a couple of dates in mind. A couple of dates that are just next month. When I say it that way, next month, it doesn't sound so bad. If I had to say August, UGH - that would make me feel sick. Actually the thought of leaving July 29th makes me feel sick, but at least it's still in July. I am just praying for July 8th.

On the other hand... July 8th? Holy crap that is so soon! I can feel panic rising up in me thinking about that. That is less than 5 weeks from now! It is just scary no matter how you look at it. I think if we had the finances squared away, I could relax a little more. However, at this point, we are still short $5000.

If we leave in July, I just don't see how we can come up with that kind of money in such a short amount of time. I am actually starting to get nervous about that. You know what though? When we started this journey, I asked Brad if we were going to be too afraid to step out of the boat... or if we were going to be a Peter and focus on Jesus and trust him. We chose to step out of the boat. I guess right now I am still being a Peter, my lack of faith is causing me to sink. I need to once again fix my eyes on Him. He will not let us sink. He will take care of us and provide. I just have to trust that.

For now, I will just think about that picture - I will hope and pray that Hope is closer than she appears.