SAD DAY

Well, at first I thought it would be a sad day but it turned out not to be! Brad and I are desperately trying to pay off our credit card debt. I have been thinking of things that I could do to contribute in some way, and today I did!

We have had some long talks about how our priorities have changed over the last few years. Things that once seemed important, really aren't important. So we have been trying really hard to live within our means. We have two cars that are in great shape. We have a nice house that completely meets and exceeds our needs. Our clothes are in good shape, even if one of us had to get new ones to accommodate the, um, 30 pounds he or she may have put on since last summer. We have plenty of food. Our kids' needs are met and most of their wants. So we are good, and for the first time in our lives, we are content. Really content.

So all of that being said, I decided to sell one of my Coach bags(yes, just one. Come on, I mean really. Can a girl be expected to part with all of her beloved bags? NO. It isn't like I am going out buying new ones. Plus, the ones I have left are sentimental. I can't sell those. Cut me some slack. Goshhhh.). So I pulled out the sweeet, buttery soft, black diaper bag and listed it on ebay. I was really worried that I would get like $50 for it. I could not have parted with it for $50. So I was pretty nervous. Anyway, I listed it yesterday and it sold today, less than 24 hours later. I used the "buy it now" feature, and it sold for $170.00!! I was so excited! I bought that bag two years ago. I paid $200.00 for it and I just sold it for $30 less than that. Isn't that crazy?

So now I am sitting here thinking I should pull out the others! LOL! Wallets too! All the Coach must go! No, not really. That's just crazy talk. But it did feel good to make a chunk of money with NO effort what so ever.

Besides, in China, you can get really good deals on Coach, so I will replace my sweet, black bag with something even better! Because I am going to China! And I mean it!

WHEN IN ROME

Well, I guess it was inevitable. After living in this town for almost four years, I am starting to act like a local. This isn't necessarily a good thing, people. There have been two things that have stopped me in my tracks over the last 48 hours.

One, we got a new Biscuitville. That's right, another restaurant that sells biscuits and breakfast. We didn't have enough of those. Anyway, today was the grand opening. We about broke our necks getting there this morning. Sigh. We ordered combo number 5, also known as "heart attack on a plate", and other various artery clogging items. Jackson's order went something like this: 2 pancakes, 6 pieces of bacon, and 2 biscuits. Um, not a chance pal. I gave him props for trying, but come on. We did end up a butt load of bacon and biscuits though. It was actually really good. Then again, most things cooked with pure lard usually are. Anyway, at least I didn't order a "beeskit". It was just sad to me that I got so excited over a new restaurant that sells biscuits. I mean, really? Not a hip new coffee house or a Target. No ma'am, I was excited about Biscuitville.

My next moment of truth was yesterday. I was telling my mom that anytime the kids get candy, I have to hide it from Brad. I actually said (gosh even typing it makes me cringe), "Mom, I have to hide the candy due to it gettin gone." Shudder. Gettin gone? Lord, is it too late? Have I been here too long? Is the damage irreversable? If I start saying "ideal" instead of "idea" someone please come and get me. Take me far, far away from this town.

Well, I am off. Heading to the walmart to get me some overalls before they all get gone y'all. If Biscuitville didn't close at 2, I would stop by and get me a beeskit.

PASSION

For months now my husband, our Pastor of Worship, has been planning and preparing for the Passion Play at our church. Tonight was the first of four performances. Brad is such a talented musician and director. I am privileged to be lead by him every Sunday morning in the most awesome time with Jesus. Tonight was no exception. I was amazed, humbled, touched, and brought literally into the presence of the King of Kings.

I have helped decorate and paint the sets. I have been to countless practices and dress rehearsals. But tonight, I saw Him. I felt Him. He was there. He touched me. I sat there frozen in my seat, feeling Jesus around me. Words can not describe the way He feels. Every worry, every heartache, everything that has consumed me lately completely disappeared. Tonight, all that mattered was Jesus.

As Easter approaches, it is so easy to get wrapped up in all the colored eggs and candy. It is so easy to forget why we even celebrate Easter. We celebrate because the tomb is empty. THE TOMB IS EMPTY. He is ALIVE! I know He is alive because tonight, I felt his Holy Presence!!

As the play came to a close, the pastor got up and said a few words. He said something that really struck me. He said so many times we say "Oh, we are saved! I know Jesus!" but can Jesus say he knows YOU? Maybe you made the decision to follow Christ when you were little. Maybe you went to church every Sunday growing up. Maybe you go to church every Sunday now. But does Jesus really know YOU? If you had to stand before the Messiah tonight, what would He say to you? Would He be proud of who you have become? Or would He be disappointed in the way you have chosen to live your life? Would He even know who you are? My prayer for you tonight is that He does indeed, know who you are. My prayer for you is you don't let the day end without falling to your knees at His feet as profess Him as Lord. Because He is Lord. Even if you don't believe that now, one day you will. One day, EVERY knee shall bow and EVERY tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Why wait?

GULP. IT'S DONE.

I am in the process right now, as we speak (type? read?) of dying my hair brown. Oh no, not just brown, I am dying it *Sunkissed Brown*. That's right, my days as a roots showing redneck blonde are over. Here is a picture of the color it was
(Not the greatest picture, but the only one I have of ME at the moment!). It is quite a bit longer than pictured and soon to be quite a bit darker!

Anyway, when it is all over, said, and done, I will be back to show the after photo. Cross your fingers for me. I am skeered!

AN HOUR LATER:
Well. It's done. I am definitely not feeling it. I predict by tomorrow, I will have gone back to the blonde we all know and love. Funny thing, I was born this color. It should look "natural" on me, but it doesn't FEEL natural! And why is it every single person on the tv right now is blonde? Why must the tv mock me? Well, without further ado, here it is (Another not great picture. It is blurry, but honestly, I feel stupid taking my own picture and I am not doing it again.)

HMMM....I'VE BEEN THINKING

So I started this blog as sort of a journal. A place to write little stories about my day to day, so I could look back over them years from now and remember sweet moments in my life. I never really thought anyone would read it. And honestly, I am not sure anyone really does.

So that is where I am - who actually really reads my blog? I know I can name a couple of you off the top of my head because you comment here and there. But my question is, is there enough traffic to continue? I have a private blog that I don't share, and I am wondering if I should just combine the two? Just for me to put my experiences down to remember later?

So I am curious. I wish I could do a "poll". I don't have that option though. I am going to think about it a little more, and then decide. This may be the last post EVAH! LOL!

SWEET TIMES WITH MY BEST GIRL

Tonight, Julianna and I were preparing for Jameson's birthday on Wednesday. Since Wednesday is so busy for us, we decided celebrating on Tuesday would be better. So, we were baking his cake, putting up streamers and other various Winnie the Pooh themed decorations.

We put on our aprons and got busy. For Christmas, Julianna got the cutest little Playful Chef set from my mom. It has real pans, spoons, measuring cups and an apron. She thinks it is the neatest thing. So we got out her set and started making the cakes. I poured a little of the batter in her little cake pan and put it in the oven. With some time on her hands, waiting for the cake, her little imagination went to work! She decided that we would decorate the cake and take it to her room to have a special birthday party for her new American Girl Bitty Baby, Belle.

We dyed her frosting purple, to go with the green cake. When it was done, I let her put the icing on and add her sprinkles. It was hysterical. Delicate, she is not, let me tell you. That poor cake has huge chunks missing out the sides and top. It looked like the moon with its many craters! LOL. Once she was done with frosting, she dumped some sprinkles on. I got her out some candles and we took it all to her room. I let her pick the candles she wanted, we lit them and the party started! She had the best time. Belle was decked out in her party dress and hat, too. What sweet memories we made tonight.

She asked me to help her put her baby's shoes on and as she handed her to me, I had one of those TV moments. You know the kind where, in a split second your life flashes before your eyes? As she handed me that baby, I thought about how quickly time will pass. In the blink of an eye, she will be handing me her actual baby and will be celebrating her baby's birthday. It almost brought tears to eyes sitting there thinking about it. She is only four, but before I know it, she will be 24 and then 34. It was the strangest feeling, yet it really gave me something to look forward too.

Until then, I look forward to lots of birthday parties for baby dolls and fun times in the kitchen with my favorite girl!

Of course, I had to take pictures. Here are a few:

MY THOUGHTS ON THE "ME TIME" MYTH

While I mostly agree with the article, there are parts of me that does not. I don't believe it is so black and white. I also don't think that if you do things away from your family, that you are a bad mom (or dad). I go to dinner with friends, or go shopping by myself. It is nice time away. However, I don't feel I "need" that time. I don't schedule "me time" during the week. If it happens, fine, if it doesn't, fine.

Now might be a good time for "me time" because I am trying to compose this post in the midst of constant chatter. LOL! So if I ramble or don't make sense, understand that.

I have thought about this a lot lately, honestly. I stay home with my kids and we homeschool. So I am with my kids all day, every day. They don't nap at the same time, so there is always at least one child around me all day long. Are there times when I just want peace and quiet? Sure. Are there times when I want to run away screaming? Absolutely. Would I trade my life for a life away from them all day long? Never in a million years. I know people that work full time, and still get a sister a couple of nights a week so they can have "me time". Then on Sunday mornings, they take their kids to church, drop them off in their age appropriate class and pick them back up three hours later. I couldn't live that way. Obviously, that works for them, but it would never work for me.

Haley's comment really made sense to me. When I do get away, it isn't because I am trying to fulfill something. I am not searching for anything when I go out except for some place quiet. Or maybe for a conversation that doesn't revolve around Cinderella or football. Honestly though, it is very rare that I feel the need to not be with my children. I enjoy their company. I enjoy their sense of humor.

I also don't understand the need for "date night". Sure it is fun to go out with my husband and see a movie, etc... but I don't feel we "need" it. We have a great marriage. We spend time together every day. My kids go to bed by 8pm. We don't usually go to bed before 11pm. That is three hours a night that we can hang out.

My husband and I are on the same page with this topic, and that helps. We both believe that we will have plenty of "me time" when our kids are older and gone. I hope not though, I hope even then they still want to hang out with us!

I am just that type of parent. Like I have said before - we are not the norm. We co-sleep (with whoever wants to sleep with us, whenever), I nursed until my children decided they were done (21 months and 17 months), we homeschool, etc... I understand that is not for everyone. However, I like to believe that I am building a relationship with my kids. A friendship. I have always said that I didn't have kids so I could leave them with a sitter so I could have "me time". I am going to soak up every second I can with them. They are only this age for a fraction of a second. My heart couldn't take all the things I would miss if they were with someone else.

Just my two cents. Oh, and Tonya - I don't need a doctor telling me that I am not a good mom if I don't leave them. If my doctor said that to me, I would find another doctor.

THE "ME TIME" MYTH

I read an article recently about "Me Time". I feel like I could have written it myself. I don't buy into the whole "me time" mentality. I will just paste the article, the link is
"The "Me Time" Myth if you want to check out the website. Otherwise, here it is:

The “Me Time” Myth
Amy Roberts
The Old Schoolhouse

I once heard a talk show host give a very compelling argument for why moms need time away. He said mothers give and give to the point of empty. They must refuel themselves so they can continue to give.

It sounded quite reasonable to me. Then why did my search for this hallowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more? While taking time for myself, I definitely felt refreshed, but the moment I got home and realized the sink was still full of dirty dishes and I would still have to give baths to all the children before the night would be over, I wanted to head right back out the door.

This left me feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn’t I have one night where I wouldn’t have to do the same things I do every night? Why couldn’t I come home to a spotless and trouble-free place where dishes were washed and children were in bed? Why did I have to go back to my duties so soon? To punish those who were making my life difficult, I would loudly sling dishes and be curt and hurried with everyone until I could get children into bed and escape to the sewing room or the computer for the remainder of the evening.

The next morning, feeling dissatisfied with the amount of me time from the evening prior, I would take my coffee, sit at the computer, and completely ignore my daily duties. I would get irritated with the children because their antics were cutting into my time. I was stressed and edgy and desperate for more. My children would call out for me and I would answer, “She’s not here right now.”

Then, I began staying up much too late in order to squeeze in more alone time. I dreaded going to bed because it meant waking up to children’s needs and a disaster of a house.

I became increasingly upset by my husband’s time off from work, along with the business lunches and the business trips. To compensate for the perceived unfairness of the situation, I chose to do nothing on weekends: no laundry, no dishes, no parenting. Soon, my weekends were spilling over both ends and into the weekdays. All of this only served to overwhelm me even more and feed into my desire to escape.

In a moment of clarity, as only the Lord can offer, I saw my behavior for what it truly was: selfishness. Along with this epiphany came the conviction to quit seeking Me Time.

Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it Me Time.

The more we indulge the thought that we are somehow owed this time away, the more we will seek after it. The more we seek after it, the more every little opportunity afforded us to take a break will seemingly end too quickly. The everyday life of being a mother will become drudgery. We will dread every aspect of this role. We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone. Not getting this time will ruin our day, and if we do manage some time away, we will despise the re-entry.

However, with any lie, there is a certain amount of truth hidden within. There is an emptiness within us that needs to be filled, but only God can fill what you are aching for.

“The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:24–25

Our time away should be spent seeking Him. Anything else we try to fill that emptiness with will fall miserably short. Likewise, the company we seek during our time away should be spent with people who are about the business of edifying and strengthening us in our role as wife and mother, not tearing at the very foundation of our home. We will never gain anything but resentment from the counsel of those who encourage us to seek self.

We must cease to see the role of wife and mother as a job we put aside at the end of the day. We must do our daily tasks cheerfully, as unto the Lord. We must learn to enjoy being home with our families. We must find contentment in serving others. We should spend more time drinking in the beauty of our children, searching their eyes, holding their hands, being Mom. When we do feel neglected or overworked, we must immediately seek the Lord to refresh us and keep us from sin.

There will be days when we are afforded opportunities to do things alone or with other women, but if we are content in our God-given role, we will no longer cling so tightly to these moments as the only way to save our sanity. Our need for Me Time will fade as we begin to see motherhood as a blessing not to be escaped, but embraced.

I am curious to hear your thoughts. Post a comment and share!!

WILD OLIVE TEES

So I stumbled across this website today, Wild Olive Tees. They are selling these totally cute, hip t-shirts with scripture on them! There are like 6 that I want right off the bat! The awesome thing about this company is they are donating 10% of sales to different charities. The charity they are donating to currently is Shaohannah's Hope. This charity is so awesome, and they do so much. The main thing they do is provide grants to families to aid in the cost of adoption. Together, the ladies at Wild Olive Tees and the founders of Shaohannah's Hope have adopted many children from China (and we all know how I feel about that, now don't we?). So my hope is that you will pop over to Wild Olive Tees and check out (and BUY!) lots of really funky and hip t-shirts! By doing so, you will also be helping families with financial need adopt sweet orphans. Hey, maybe that will be us one day! So, really, you could be helping ME by buying a cool t-shirt, haha!

Go check it out!

BIG MOUNTAINS

Hm... I have written and rewritten the post a couple of times now. I just can't find the way I want to say all the things I want to say. Bare with me...

I can't really say too much at this time, but we need some prayers from those of you out there that believe in that kind of thing. Everything is fine, great in fact. It isn't anything bad. There are just some things that need prayer - lots and lots of prayer. Fasting, on your face before Jesus kind of prayer.

I am hoping soon that I can share all the details. But for now, please help by praying. Even though I can't share exactly what is going on, Jesus knows. Thank you so much! We really appreciate it!

PS- For the record, we are not adopting. But if you want to pray about that for us too, I wouldn't mind! LOL!