SUNDAY SNAPSHOT

It's been quite a while since I participated in Sunday Snapshot. I've been a little preoccupied, I suppose. Anyway, I hope to start joining in again. It really is fun, and it gives me a lot of practice.

So we went up to the mountain not too long ago for a homeschool event. I knew it would be really pretty up there, so I took the good camera. I am pretty pleased with the way the photos turned out. I would really love to get the one of all three kids blown up and framed.

Anyway, here are my sweet little munchkins!

They are so cute, I can hardly stand it! LOL! Thanks for checking the pictures out ...

FEAR OR EXCITEMENT?

Depends on when you ask me, I suppose. I bought a new pocket calendar for 2011. As I was flipping through it tonight, I just thought for a bit about the days, the months ahead.  Right now it's a blank canvas. It could be great, it could be devastating. I get this way every year as I reflect on the year to come. What does 2011 hold for us? Will this be my last Christmas with my Ma Ma? Will we all be healthy in 2011? Next Christmas will Santa bring gifts to my FOUR little ones?

I don't know. Honestly, if I think about it too much, I will scare myself silly. Fear has a stronghold on me, and if I give into it, it can be debilitating.

Fortunately, I have Hope. Peace. Comfort. No matter what happens in 2011 - it will not come as a surprise to my Father. He knows what every second holds. I do not have to fear. It's hard to remember that sometimes.  As I looked at my little calendar tonight, I could feel the fear rising up in me. No matter what the year holds, I will always have my Father to run to.

Now I just have to hang onto that! When I was younger, my mom and I would always joke around saying, "Name it and claim it!" whenever we were hoping God would bring us something that we needed.  So for 2011 - I am praying for health and protection for my little ones, protection from the enemy in my marriage, and for my Sweet Willa to come home and I am naming it and claiming it! LOL.

You know what though? Even if Jesus choses to tell me no, He is still Worthy. He is still in control. And I will still trust Him.

THURSDAY'S THINGS TO PRAY FOR

I'm a slacker. I admit it. I am really going to try to be better about posting my Thursday's things to pray for. Gosh knows we need prayer. I know all of you do, too. So please join in! I would love to be able to pray for your needs, as you so faithfully help pray for mine!


1. Please pray for me as a homeschool mom. I am working very hard to keep my cool and not let my slack sweet children cause me to lose my sanity patience.  


2. Please pray for my children as we have hit a funk in school. Actually, Jackson seems to be doing better, but Julianna? Oh lawd, Julianna is doing to drive me to drink. That child is so smart, yet so... hm... I can't even think of a word to describe her. Free spirit, maybe? She wants to learn to read, and she does well for the most part, but she just can't be bothered by all of this... learning. 


3. Please pray for God's timing with our adoption. I want to be matched now, Brad wants to wait until June. Pray that we will focus on what God has planned for us and for Willa, and not our timing. 


4. Please pray for our finances. We have a lot of money to come up with. Fortunately, all of my fees and such will carry over. We did not lose any of that. We do, however, have to come up with travel fees again. I originally said that I would never travel back to China without Brad. However, now, I am seeing that Brad going is just another expense that we can not afford. We will need around $12,000 if I travel alone. We have $100. HAHA! So we have a *long* way to go. If a miracle happened and money fell from the sky, I would take my whole family. They all want to travel - but then I would need $22,000. YIKES! 


5. One last one, but it's a big one. I am due to have another MRI/MRA of my head. The doctor told me when I was originally diagnosed with the brain cavernoma that I needed to repeat the MRI in 2 years. It's time. I don't want to go. I have *severe* anxiety about it. He did tell me that the cavernoma is not a big deal. In fact, it is very likely that I was born with it. He does just want to make sure it isn't growing however. I say let's leave well enough alone. I am having no symptoms what so ever. So I just need to decide what to do. OR! I could just pray for complete healing and just trust in Jesus. Yeah, I like that idea.


Please post a comment with a specific prayer need that you have. OR! Better yet, write up your own Thursday's Things to Pray For post and leave a comment so I can check it out. I genuinely would love to pray for you!

MYSTERY

Ok, so there are some weird things going on at my house. Seriously! First of all, let me say that I am not crazy. LOL. Well, for the most part anyway.

The "weird things" started a few weeks ago.  It sort of began with some random weird noises like hearing doors open, but when I would check on them, they would be closed. Whatever, that kind of thing is easily explained. However, several weeks ago, I was in my bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I turned the shower on and waited for the water to get hot. I was standing there waiting when all of a sudden the shower turned off. I mean completely off. I stood there thinking, oh my gosh! I didn't pay the water bill! So I pulled back the shower curtain to turn the knobs off, but they were off. So I turned the shower back on and it worked just fine. The actual knobs were off when I checked. Weird right?

Today, I was loading the dishwasher and I realized that one of my pots was in there that wasn't suppose to be in there. I have this pot that I use for oil to fry won ton's. Yes, we eat won ton's enough that I keep the pot of oil in the oven so it's ready when I need it. Last night, I had take the pot out of the oven so I could bake a pizza. I usually just put it on the back of the stove until I am done with the oven. Well last night, I left it on the stove.  Somehow between last night and this morning, the pot (without the oil) got put in the dishwasher. So I started asking questions - I asked Brad, the kids, my mom. No one had touched the pot, let alone knew where the oil went. I really feel if the kids had messed with it, there would have been a mess to clean up.  Brad wouldn't have known what to do with the oil, and my mom wasn't here when the debacle took place. LOL. Weird, right?

There are other instances - like I heard Julianna's bedroom door open (it creaks really bad) and I heard her walk down the hall. I got up to check on her and she was sound asleep in her bed.  Weird, right?

One more example. The other day we were preparing to leave the house. I went through turning off lights. I went in the den and turned off the one lamp we use. There are two lamps in there, but one of them never gets used. It's one of those tall halogen lamps. The kids can't reach the switch to turn it on. I went through the whole house. My house was dark when we left, except for the porch light. When we got home later, as soon as pulled in the drive way, I realized there was a light on in the den. So I came inside and it was the lamp that never gets turned on. I asked the kids about it, and they confirmed what I thought, they couldn't reach the switch. I asked Brad, but he had not been home. Weird, right?

There are a couple of possibilities: a) I am seriously losing my mind. Like full blown hallucinations. LOL. b) I am sleep walking. c) I have a ghost. HAHA.

My husband is annoyed that I am "concerned" about our recent events. LOL. It's just all so weird!!!

PROGRESS

Wow! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to blog. We have been really busy lately. There are a lot of things that I want to say and share, but I just haven't found the time to sit down with the laptop.

Things are going better lately. Don't get me wrong, I still feel "frantic" more than I care to admit. In Target on Saturday I saw a sweet little Chinese girl with her Caucasian parents and I burst into tears. Silly, I know, but other than moments like that, it is getting better.

For a while now, Brad has been asking me how I know that we still have a little girl waiting for us. I always just tell him, "I just know", because it has been the truth. I just know.  I have never been able to explain with anything more than that. However, the other night, I was sitting in the living room and it hit me. I ran into the den to share my epiphany with Brad.

When I am closest with Jesus, when I really feel His presence - for instance when I am worshipping Him with music, or reading my bible, or praying - I feel the leading to complete our adoption the most. During those times, I feel heart broken for the orphan, for my daughter. Yet, when I spend a few days not reading my bible study like I am suppose to, or the kids want to listen to Michael Jackson in the car (Yes, they are their mother's children. We love MJ. We just can't help it. Do not judge us.) instead of our contemporary Christian (which we listen to 95% of the time), or I am just too busy to stop and listen to my Lord, it is less oppressive. I don't think about it as much. I don't feel drawn to it. For the last few months, I can see a pattern. When I look back over the time since I have been home from China, the times when I felt done with this process was the times when I wasn't as close to Jesus as I should have been. Yet, the days where I felt so sure that Willa was still waiting was the days that I had spent time with Jesus.

So that is how I know. That is how I know that we have a daughter waiting for us still. The same daughter that has been waiting all along. The daughter that I have been working so hard for, for three years. I told Brad that in the summer of 2007, Jesus told me that I had a daughter waiting in China. He told me to bring her home. We haven't done that yet. I believe we are suppose to finish what He started a long time ago. So, all of that said... WE ARE GOING BACK TO CHINA!

Brad is still processing all of this. He needs a little more time. I respect that. Obviously, my little Willa isn't ready for us yet. So we are going to give it more time before requesting a match, but we are moving forward.  The way I see it is this - it gives me more time to pray for her. More time to pray for our finances. More time to thank my precious Father in Heaven that once again - HE MOVED MOUNTAINS.

Willa Hope is coming home!!!!!